


I'm Here For You

by FizzyCorrupts



Category: Splatoon
Genre: Autistic Marina, F/F, Formerly a one-shot but I decided to expand it for more Pearlina goodness, Pearl is sad and needs love from her girlfriend, Sometimes they argue but it'll be okay in the end
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-06-21 21:25:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15566634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FizzyCorrupts/pseuds/FizzyCorrupts
Summary: Sometimes they both struggle. Sometimes they bicker. But in the end, they're always here for each other.(A gift for my amazing friend Bug.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Smellerbug](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smellerbug/gifts).



Pearl stared at the ceiling blankly. The bed felt hard. Her mouth was dry. Her throat burned. She had her fists clenched. An air of discomfort hung thick around her. She turned her head to the side, taking in the view of her girlfriend sleeping peacefully. On most nights, that sight would immediately bring a smile to her face and help lull her into peaceful slumber. But this time it just made her feel a deep, dark emptiness. She didn’t know why, but she felt a soft heat fill her face. Her eyes grew wet, tears bubbling up from deep within her. Why couldn’t she feel anything? Why did Marina even deal with her? She shook her head, climbing off the bed. Quietly, she snuck her way out of the room. Her girlfriend didn’t have to lose precious sleep just because Pearl wasn’t getting it.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” Pearl whispered to herself, making her way to the kitchen. She needed a glass of water or something, her throat was killing her. As she walked through the halls, she started to feel a sense of dread. Primal fear welled up in her body. Her stomach churned. The world around her was hazy, like she’d suddenly ceased existing. Her head was pounding. She shut her eyes tightly, trying to cage the tears that wanted to escape. 

Without hesitation, Pearl began running. She couldn’t stand still. Something in her was terrified, whilst a spiteful voice nagged at the back of her mind.

Why do you exist? Come on Pearl, you don’t deserve anything you have. Does Marina really love you? She’ll find somebody better in a heartbeat, right?

The voice wouldn’t stop. Pearl scrambled as fast as possible to the kitchen, hoping to escape some sort of entity she seemed to feel behind her. When she arrived to her destination, she felt a weight lift off of her. The voice quieted, and she no longer felt a need to escape. Though she felt a lingering pit in her stomach. A hole filled with liquid misery that refused to drain. She took a deep breath and steadied herself.

“Alright, you’re good Pearl. You’re good.” She whispered to herself. She walked up to the fridge, opening it up and grabbing a can of Fountain Goo. She slammed the fridge door shut, then aggressively opened the can and chugged down its contents. Within seconds, the whole can had been emptied. Casually, she tossed it into the open garbage bin nearby. She hoped the caffeinated beverage would do something for her. That it would help her feel a bit better.

She still felt this emptiness inside her. She had to fill it somehow. She opened the fridge back up, and glanced around for something to shove down her gullet. She reached for a small box of chocolate coated pretzels that she’d stashed deep in the back. It wasn’t really food, but it’d sate her cravings. She closed the fridge up and retreated to the living room. She sat on the couch, tearing open the box and beginning to shovel the pretzels into her mouth. It didn’t take long for the whole box to be gone. Pearl expected a sense of satisfaction. That the sweet treat would fill the void. But she just felt more disgusted with herself. She threw the box across the room with a loud grunt of anger.

“God I’m a fucking disgusting sea pig.” Pearl whispered to herself. She curled up, hugging her legs. Her body quivered, and her breathing slowed. An intense pressure seemed to be pushing down on her once more. The void inside her became larger, as if trying to swallow her whole being. The nagging voice began to reemerge. At first it was quiet, she ignored it. But it grew louder and louder.

Are you worth anything? Where do you get off just bringing your problems into other people’s lives? You’re just a shallow piece of shit.

Pearl knew the voice wasn’t real, but she clamped her hands over her ears and shook her head. She could feel the moisture begin to collect in her eyes, and this time she couldn’t hold it back. Tears streamed from her eyes. She started to softly sob. She rocked back and forth in place, trying to bring some sort of comfort to herself with the motion. A numbness overcame her body, shutting her out from her surroundings. 

“I don’t want to suffer anymore.” Pearl said, not aimed at anyone in particular; not even at herself. Her senses were dulled, she stared blankly at the television in the room. Maybe some tv would help. She reached for the remote and turned it on. The tv came on, blaring loudly a commercial for a new compilation of love songs. Pearl jumped, scrambling to turn the volume down low. She didn’t need the song “How Am I Supposed to Turf Without You” blowing her house away. Pearl at least felt alert after that. She sighed, and started flipping through channels. Nothing good was ever on at this time. It was too late for there to even be a dirty movie on. Too late for a creature feature or something. Every channel was either playing reruns or infomercials. The Inkling pushed a button on the remote, booting up a streaming service on the tv. She’d just binge a random show or something.

She browsed the selection for a few minutes. Family Platters? Nah, Pearl wasn’t the biggest fan of it growing up and it probably wouldn’t hold up on a rewatch. Spongebob Squarepants? She never was a big fan of reality tv. Oh, Yu-Gi-Roe! Pearl loved the shit out of that show growing up. She eagerly started the show up, ready to binge until morning. 

“Pearlie? Are you in here?” Marina’s voice echoed softly through the living room. Pearl’s eyes widened. Dammit, that love song commercial must have woken her up! She glanced over at the box of pretzels on the floor all the way on the other side of the room, crumbs sprinkled everywhere.

“Fuck.” She stated under her breath. Marina walked up behind the sofa, glancing down at her girlfriend. Pearl was shaking, hoping the Octoling wouldn’t inquire about her reason for being up. Though her hopes were soon dashed.

“Pearlie, I woke up and tried reaching over to cuddle. You weren’t there so I got worried.” Marina said, her voice still a bit slow from only recently awakening. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s cool!” Pearl exclaimed, feigning a wide smile as she looked up at Marina. “I just couldn’t sleep. I decided to come out here and watch tv.” Marina walked around the couch and sat down beside her, a smile on her face.

“Come on babe, you can tell me if something’s wrong.” Marina clearly didn’t buy Pearl’s story. “You sleep like a rock. I can’t believe that you just couldn’t sleep.” Marina wrapped an arm around the Inkling, pressing up against her. Marina’s body was so warm, Pearl thought. A soft smile formed on her face.

“Promise you won’t laugh at me or anything?” Pearl asked. She knew Marina wouldn’t laugh, but she tended to be pretty insecure talking about her deeper emotions like this. Pearl did wear her heart on her sleeve, but some things she never enjoyed talking about. There was a certain degree of humiliation to the action for her. She didn’t really understand why though.

“I promise, love-bug.” Marina answered, smiling warmly and planting a kiss on the smaller girl’s forehead. Pearl giggled softly at the display of affection. She took a deep breath.

“Well...when we went to bed I started getting this weird feeling in my gut.” Pearl said, gently playing with Marina’s hair. “Like I was empty inside. I kept trying to think happy thoughts, but every time I tried my mind just went blank.” Pearl felt heat in her face, she was getting embarrassed. She gulped. Marina stroked the top of her head, trying to keep Pearl comfortable. “And I kept hearing these voices in my head. They kept telling me how shitty I am and how little I deserve. Every fucking second they got worse.” Pearl laid down, placing her head on Marina’s lap. “It was horrible. I couldn’t take it.”

“I’m so sorry, Pearlie.” Marina said worriedly, looking down at her girlfriend. “Sometimes I feel like that too. It’s dark and lonely.” She looked across the room, seeing the snack box on the floor and the mess it accompanied. She assumed Pearl must have gotten mad and thrown it. “I used to get feelings like that ever since I was a young girl. The constant self-loathing. The feeling I was an impostor who hadn’t earned anything I had. It was always too much.”

“Do you still get feelings like that now?” Pearl asked, taking hold of one of Marina’s hands. Marina nodded, but smiled.

“I still do, and they’re always the worst.” Marina answered. “But with a lovely girlfriend like you and so many people to support me, they’ve gotten so much less frequent.” She affectionately rubbed her girlfriend’s stomach, Pearl smiling wide at the gesture. “I have so many people around me to invalidate the voices that criticize me and to tell me that I matter. It doesn’t get rid of these bad feelings, but it makes them weaker.”

“Am...I really that amazing to you?” Pearl asked, getting up and scooching over to sit in Marina’s lap. Marina wrapped her arms around the Inkling and smiled the largest smile.

“Of course! You’re my precious Pearlie and nothing can change that!” Marina exclaimed excitedly. She planted kisses all over Pearl’s face. The short girl started laughing.

“Aw honey, that’s gay.” Pearl said jokingly. Marina laughed and held her close. Warmth was filling Pearl’s body. The void she’d had sitting in her gut was dissipating. Everything was feeling good. The hurt had faded.

“Do you wanna go back to bed, honey? It’s really late.” Marina asked, yawning loudly. Pearl glanced over at the tv, seeing Yu-Gi-Roe still playing. She smiled, having forgotten about it in the midst of the situation. 

“Can we stay up and just watch tv for a bit?” Pearl begged. “Please babe?” Marina rolled her eyes, but laughed softly.

“Okay, fine. But just a few episodes.” Marina responded. Pearl clapped her hands excitedly and the two settled in to watch the show together. “You’re such a fucking nerd, Pearlie.”

“Hey, but I’m your nerd.” Pearl responded, placing a quick peck on Marina’s lips. Marina blushed and grinned.

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you, hon.” Marina held her Pearlie tightly. Pearl felt good. She felt loved.

“I love you too, Marina.”


	2. Dinner For Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl went all out putting together the perfect anniversary dinner. Though sometimes she can be a bit too insensitive for her own good.

Pearl had not spared any expense setting up the greatest anniversary dinner she could think of. She’d rented out the entirety of Marina’s favorite restaurant, a quaint little greasy spoon called Grizz Grub, and had bought her girlfriend every single one of her favorite dishes on the menu. She’d made sure the place had gotten deep cleaned from head to toe, and that all of the food was prepared with the finest care. Despite Grizz Grub just being a trashy little burger joint, Pearl wanted to make sure this night was magical in some way or another. 

Marina was autistic, and Pearl wanted to make the restaurant environment comfortable for her. By renting the place out, she removed all the loud noise. Marina wouldn’t have to wear her headphones to block it all out. Pearl knew Marina wouldn’t have to worry about people judgingly staring at her for any of her stimming behaviors. It would just be the two of them, free to relax and be merry. However, the date was not going as Pearl had intended.

“That’s when Captain Stardream flew in and totally beat the hell out of these dudes!” Marina made an excited punching gesture, throwing one of her fists forward. “And I could not believe how beautiful the cinematography was. You could feel the absolute love poured into every single shot of that episode! Like, holy shit? I couldn’t handle it. I started crying just from the framing of the scenery, can you believe that?”

“Yeah, I get it Reena,” Pearl sighed, “you already told me about it last night before bed. Can we talk about something else, please?” The Inkling put a hand over her mouth and yawned.

Marina pouted and stated, “You always do this! You never give me the time of day when we’re talking about things I like.”

“What?! Yes I do!” Pearl sat up straight in her chair and crossed her arms. “I always listen to you talk about junk!”

“You literally avoided me the entire time I was hyperfixating on that game Hotline Inkopolis!”

“Did not! I bought you your cosplay for InkCon,” Pearl hissed, “and I went with you in couple’s cosplay and everything!”

“And while we were there, you acted like you were embarrassed to be seen with me!” shouted Marina, her voice echoing across the whole restaurant. “You wouldn’t take photos with me when people asked us. You were always like ‘Oh no, I don’t like taking pictures.’ We both know you love that kind of attention! You literally can’t say no when fans ask for pics.”

“Don’t take that tone with me! I indulge you with every one of your little obsessions. Why you gotta be so fuckin’ defensive about it?”

“Because they aren’t just obsessions! They’re my life!” Marina stands up from her chair and slams her hands down on the table. Pearl jumps in shock at the sudden gesture, placing a hand on her chest. 

“Your life? What kind of person sees some little video game or tv show as their life?”

“I do, Pearl! It’s just how I am. I don’t know why!” 

“You sound like a crazy woman.” Pearl states, sipping from a glass of water. “Yelling at me over this? Really?”

“I sound crazy, huh?” said Marina, “Well you sound like a moron!”

“A what?!” Pearl spat out her water in distress. “The fuck did you just call me, you little bitch?!” Pearl immediately covered her mouth, eyes wide.

“I…” Marina’s eyes began to well up with tears. “I hate you!” Marina yelled, running off and into the bathroom. Pearl sat there quietly for a moment, staring at the empty chair Marina had been sitting in. She felt like garbage.

“Christ almighty, what’s wrong with me?” The Inkling placed a hand on her forehead and leaned on the table, releasing a long sigh. “My one job was to take the love of my life out for the best night of her life and what do I do? I fuck it all up.” She climbed out of her chair and walks over to the bathroom door. She attempted to go in, but found the door had been locked. “Marina, can you let me in?”

“No, fuck off!” The Octoling yelled from the other side. “I don’t want to talk to you right now! Leave me alone!”

“Come on, Reena. Please?”

“Go away, Pearl!”

“...Fine.” Pearl went back to the table and sat down. She ordered more food, an entire plate’s worth of fries. When it was delivered, she immediately began shoveling them into her mouth. When stress came a-knockin’, so did her stomach. She started sobbing in the midst of eating, unable to finish her meal. She slammed her face down on the table rather forcefully. It stung when she did it, but she didn’t care. 

“Ma’am, are you okay? Is everything coming along alright?” The waiter returns to the table, noting Pearl’s sitting position. “You two were arguing earlier and-”

“No. My life is ruined. Everything is meaningless.” Pearl responded, voice muffled by the table.

“Do you need anything?”

“A swift death.”

“I uh...I can’t give you that but I can get you something off of our dessert menu.” The waiter scratches the back of his head.

“Cake. All of it. Now.”

“Y-yes ma’am.” The waiter hurried off, leaving the Inkling to her own devices.

Pearl wallowed in her own sadness for a while. When the cake came she barely touched it. The sweetness of it would do nothing to fill the void that had formed inside of her. She was just a little piece of shit. She didn’t deserve Marina, especially since she’d just made her cry. She was a terrible girlfriend. At least, that’s how she felt.

“I should check on her,” Pearl whispered. She’d spent so long crying she couldn’t cry anymore. She climbed out of her chair and walked back over to the bathroom door. She glanced at the clock, noticing Marina had locked herself in the bathroom over an hour and a half ago. Pearl knocked on the door softly. “Reena? Are you okay?”

“No.” Marina responded, sounding tired. Her voice was a bit raspy, likely from crying for a while.

“Can I come in, honey?”

“No.”

“Please? I just feel we should talk about this.”

“No.” 

“Reena, come on! You know I love you! I didn’t mean to say what I said!” Pearl fell to her knees and clasped her hands together. “I beg of you, just talk to me!”

“Fine, I’ll talk to you,” Marina said, “but I’m not letting you in here until I feel ready.”

“Okay! That’s fine with me!” Pearl responded, smiling wide.

“First we have to talk about something important.”

“What is it, babe?”

“I love you, and you do so much for me. You do a lot to accommodate for my autism, but there’s times where it’s clear you still haven’t learned enough,” Marina sighed. “You focus on what’s visible. I know you’re not being ignorant on purpose, but the lack of knowledge you show bothers me.”

“What do you mean, Reena?”

“There’s a lot of little things about being autistic that you don’t seem to understand; like my hyperfixations,” Marina said. “I don’t think you understand what that term really means.”

Pearl made a quizzical expression and said, “It’s just when you really like something, right? Like, you’re basically a superfan.”

“No, it’s not like that. Pearlie, sometimes things fascinate me so deeply that for a while they become entrenched in my identity. I need to live my life in some way that I get a fairly constant flow of whatever it is I’m currently interested in. It’s a factor of my autism I don’t rightfully understand, but when I get to indulge in these things it makes me so happy. I feel so comfortable, especially when you indulge them with me.”

“So...you got mad at me because these things you like feel like a part of you?” Pearl looked down at the floor. “I really must seem like such a jackass.” 

“Pearl, don’t feel so down on yourself.”

“But it’s supposed to be my job to be a good girlfriend. I’m just a piece of shit if I don’t even know about stuff like this.”

“Pearlie, you’re not a piece of shit. I’m miffed about how you snapped earlier, but I promise you you’re not a bad person.” Marina said calmly. 

“Are you sure?” Pearl sniffled.

“I’m sure.” Marina said, a warm tone in her voice. She unlocked the bathroom door and walked out. “I’m different from you in ways I can’t control.” She picked up Pearl and held her tightly. “And I know sometimes I can be hard to deal with.”

“Marina...I’m always here for you. I’ll do my best to get smarter about all this.” Pearl responded, wrapping her arms around Marina.

“Let’s just go eat, hehe. We did reserve an entire restaurant after all.” Marina laughed.

“You’re right.” Pearl kissed her girlfriend on the cheek.


End file.
